One year

 Today marks one year since Braden's Dad passed away. 

I feel unsure what to do. I know it has been just below the surface for Brade. I want to do something to help him. I want to do something that will take the edge off, dull the sting, help him feel uplifted-even in the midst of the sorrow. I've had at least 20 thoughts go through my head. None of them feel appropriate. When I really think about Dad and what is a true way to honor him, it has nothing to do with a big organized event. No fanfare. No making it a thing. It feels like the right thing to do is to press forward. To lift where you stand- quietly, humbly, and happily. 

I can think of specific conversations I've had with him- when I was due to have Anabelle, when Lila was in the hospital, when Braden lost his job and when he went to OTS, when he was deployed....always his stance was to calmly move forward. Do your best, believe in good things to come. No drama, no pessimism. He had a way of being wonderfully present and maintaining a positive attitude, regardless of the circumstances. He was good at taking things in stride. He seemed to have a perfect acceptance of Heavenly Father's will and a consuming desire to be obedient and do his part to build the kingdom. 

The only thing that feels right today is to renew my dedication to be a more committed disciple.