generations of fun

I took Lila to stay with my parents and Grandma for a week. It was a rare opportunity where several factors aligned and we thought we better take advantage of that. Mom worked on school with her and she got to play games with great grandma. She reported to me that they ate donuts for breakfast and she hardly drank any water because she could have all the milk she wanted. She watched (and re-watched) a movie called "He Knows my Name" which was about a little girl getting to know Jesus. Of course, that spoke to her heart and she loved it. 

We stayed for a few days when we went to pick her up. Braden went to a movie with my Dad and I got to go shopping and talk with my Mom. I also went to the adult night of stake conference with my Dad. I had conversations with my parents that I really treasure and appreciate. I was able to hear several stories from Grandma that increased my love and admiration for her. 

I feel so blessed to have had these wonderful experiences lately.   

Here's Emmett in a perfect setting with perfect lighting, looking terribly dashing, and being a cry baby. Suck it up and take one for the team, man. This is the first time you've been out of jammies in a week! Maybe that's why he's crying. He just wants to be zipped back into some footies. In that case, his crying is reasonable and he is forgiven for ruining a would-be perfect picture. 

Homeschool perks

When the sun is shining in January and our favorite friends are also home schooled, we go to the zoo. It is mostly empty and our kids run around at full speed and full yell and it is perfect. Braden even snuck out of work a little early and met us there. Something about beautiful spring weather in the middle of winter makes you feel like you're somehow cheating the system. Like you're getting away with something that the rest of the world must suffer through. It's mischievously delightful. 

Emmett and the gorillas- mutually fascinated with each other

Emmett watching a baby elephant nurse. He's so happy for his baby friend.

Well hello there tiny two first teeth! Aren't you darling (even if you have mad
e for some long nights lately).

Elise chasing birds

Completely beside herself as to why they keep flying away before she can stick one in her pocket.

I remain baffled as well. I mean, look at that sneaking form.

Look at this girl. She looks so......nine. So big kidish. Not like a small child. How could this have happened? When I look at the picture above of Elise running in that outfit, all I can think is how much it looks like Anabelle running in that outfit. And now this. It has to stop. 

Fresh haircut, among other happy changes

I finally convinced Maisey that she needed to get a hair cut. The little perfect spirals of her toddler hood had turned into a stringy, scraggly mess and I urged her to get a fresh start. Although unsure and unexcited, she liked the final product. It may have something to do with the fact that they put a pink bow in it and sprayed her hair with glitter. 

It makes her look like a child. Not a small toddler. But a growing child. She's transforming right before my eyes. And I really do mean that. Home school allows me to be part of her every progression. She'll tell you that she misses real school. And she probably does. But her attitude improved drastically after I brought her home. She is happier. So much happier. 

She is picking up reading almost effortlessly, and is excelling in math that is a year above her grade level.

She talks to anyone and everyone about everything. (We're trying to put some parameters on that.) But I love her friendliness and her love of people. She could not be more outgoing. 

She is affectionate and caring and thoughtful. She is so capable. Of anything, really.

I cherish my relationship with her and feel so grateful for every day to watch her grow. It is truly a delight.

This smile fills my heart up to the tippy tippy top

Our very own winter wonderland- Oklahoma style

Well it's no secret that I don't love the cold. Or the winter. BUT, I do love a fresh blanket of snow. Before it turns sludgy and black with motor oil. When it balances perfectly on tree branches and makes the whole world feel quiet and peaceful, reverent even. I like that. And watching kids play in snow for the first time of the year is wonder personified. It really is magical. 

If you're wondering if it took me more time to get her dressed than she actually spent outside, then YES. 

what I've let go

A friend recently told me that she'd read it to be true that a mother really has to have at least four children in order to let go of unnecessary things in her life. This friend has three kids with no intentions of having anymore. She wanted to know what I've let go, so that she could also let those things go without having to have any more babies. It was a silly conversation really, but it stayed with me for days after as I do think I've been on a progressive journey of 'letting go'. It hasn't been intentional. It's been necessary and functional and natural. I think it's still happening a little everyday. 

I had set the Christmas tree up and had the lights on it. The tub of ornaments was sitting close by. The kids rushed in, took in the situation, and excitedly asked if they could decorate the tree. I had so many things I was trying to get done in the kitchen that I said "sure", thinking in my mind that I would fix or re-arrange what would certainly be an aesthetic disaster after they went to bed. I got my stuff done, they decorated the tree gleefully, and I didn't think about it again. Not ever. Not once in the entire month of December did I think about that tree, except to throw out occasional ornaments broken by Emmett. I'm sure some branches had 3 or 4 ornaments on it, while branches right next to it were completely bare. Christmas still happened. What's more, I'm sure it was more magical for them to have completed that together without me hovering and fixing.

When the month was over and I recognized the contrast this was with the Julie of Christmas's past, I realized this was the perfect example of things I've let go.

Others that come to mind: milestone pictures/blog posts/journaling. Pintrest worthy dinners/deserts/decor/family home evenings. Organized closets and drawers, maintained nails and eyebrows. Friendships with people who don't live next door to me, being early for anything, returning library books on time. Now I won't pretend that I was previously the poster girl of the aforementioned things, but now they seem completely and hopelessly out of reach.

Basically I've cut the majority of nonessential frill from my life. I recognize that on the hierarchy of actual things that matter, I have climbed the ladder and I'm not likely to come down for a few decades. There are just so many true immediate needs right in front of me that making a new seasonal wreath is laughable, to say nothing of a decent Sunday dinner. 

Lots of small people all at once provide you with a pretty narrow focus- it's them! It's a delicate thing to find the balance of cutting out trivialities so you can have your priorities straight, with losing yourself completely in the mundane tasks of motherhood. 

I  don't know how to do that yet. But letting go of a few things has been a step in the right direction.

The boy turns O N E !

Emmett came through for us in the birthday entertainment department. Big time. 

I have never seen a baby demolish a cake like that. And so quickly. I was up all night with him because of a tummy ache, but I've lost sleep for many a less noble cause.

We blew up some balloons and put them in the jump house and watched him bounce around, wondering all the while where did that year go?!?

This little guy has settled right into the gushy ample part of my heart that I didn't know existed. The part that was set aside just for loving a son. 

Most nights before I fall asleep I think about the kids and (having just nursed him) think about how absolutely blessed I feel to end each day cradling this mighty spirit. 

I am blessed to know  every curve of his little cheeks and to have memorized his big mis-shapen head with my hands.

I often hold him tight to my face before putting him in his bed. I whisper in his ear all the things I want for him. To be a powerful missionary. An unwavering disciple of Christ. A loving son and brother. A selfless husband and devoted father. I thank him for coming to our family and tell him how completely full he makes my heart. With each whisper in his little ear he squirms into me and giggles, eyes squinted, flashing his freshly sprouted teeth. But it's only for a moment because then he holds perfectly still, with a hint of a smile, waiting for his next secret.  

From his wobbly walk to his constant need for a ball, this boy has my heart. He readily complies with all my requests for kisses and he spent the night of his birthday saying "mama". 

He has brought so much joy to our family. 

It is a delight to watch him grow. 

He kept trying to climb out of his sink bath to get to the cake. We were beside ourselves with laughter.

His present from me. One year is long enough to go without checkered suspenders if you ask me.

love when makes this face

Lila and Maisey make him presents

Braden and I ended the day as we love to when we have babies this age. With all the big kids tucked in bed, we sit around and watch the toddlings and antics of this emerging personality.

Another one of his funny tricks

He can stand and take a few steps 

balloon chasing