Deep breaths

Walking around the house tonight it started to occur to me just how much I have to do. My list was literally growing every minute and I began to feel overwhelmed and stressed. Braden graduates this week and his whole family is coming to stay. And then we move two days later. There is a lot that goes into that. Over the course of the last hour my mood changed and I started to feel incredibly burdened and irritated. Then while I was sweeping I thought back to bedtime just three hours ago and remembered how I was so absolutely happy. I had FHE with the girls- we sang songs and I told Anabelle several stories from the scriptures. We read from the Book of Mormon and she got it. She grasped the principles and was excited about learning it. We laid in her bed together tickling faces and hair and arms and giving kisses. She said, "Mom, remember the rule: No matter how big I get I will always be your little girl. I will never get too big to hold your hand, or give you kissies or lovies, or tell you love secrets". She told me I was the best and prettiest Mom. She is so tender with me. So nurturing and loving. It was a moment of pure joy. One of those rare moments when you realize you actually have everything in the world- and you feel so complete. So instead of checking things off my list and being efficient around the house I decided that I would come write down how perfectly happy it makes me to be a Mom. How very honored and downright lucky I am to spend my days with these delightful girls. In coming years it won't matter that I didn't accomplish most of the things on my list and that my house doesn't look anything like I want it to. But I want Anabelle to know how these nights with her fill me up in a way I can't describe. I don't ever want these days to end. So at the risk of being totally unprepared for the next insane week, I feel the need to stop and make sure I'm not missing what's really going on here. That I don't get so distracted by all my accomplishing that I forget what it is I'm really trying to do. You know, big picture stuff.