Making it work

I haven't posted in a while. At first it was because of busyness. And then it was because...well I don't feel like it. I aint gonna lie- it hasn't been all sparkles and rainbows around here. Home life with the girls turned into something real ugly. And draining. Lots of screaming from one girl, lots of complaining and arguing from another. I got no beef with Maisey though. When I talk to Braden and he asks me how my day was I want so much to tell him something different, to report positive changes. He asked why I hadn't blogged and I told him that I just don't know what to say. I don't want to write what I'm feeling. Nothing good comes of complaining. Besides, I know how this business is. It's just like anything else. It ebbs and it flows. I know it won't be like this forever. I know one day I'll wake up and things will be brighter. But for the last few weeks, I've just been getting through the days. Every night ends with Anabelle screaming and crying. Every night I look at Braden on Skype and just shake my head and shrug my shoulders. But today was different. Attitudes were better. Moods were happier. I sat outside watching the girls as they rode bikes with the neighborhood pack. The sidewalk was jammed with trikes and bikes and scooters and power wheels. Kids coming and going, racing to the big tree and then coming back again. Maisey wants to play and ride bikes too. She wants to be included. She wants to do what her sisters are doing. She wants so much to be able to ride a bike. But she can't reach the pedals. And she can't reach the handle bars. But she didn't sit on the porch with me crying about it. She got on her bike, and she made it work. She shimmied down the walk with her little feet moving her forward. reaching up and holding the ribbons, while sitting on the back shelf of the bike. Just when she would finally make it closer to the kids, they would be turning around and going the other way. She ended up in the grass frequently, being pushed out by the older and faster kids who were legitimate candidates in the races. But she kept going, ineffecient as it was, she just kept it up and she got faster. And she figured out how to keep her feet from getting caught under the wheel. And all this she did with a grin, just happy to be playing at all.I sat watching this over the past few days and thought I should take a lesson from her. My life lately feels a lot like her bike riding looks. Inefficient as all get out. Frustrating, slow, and even painful at times. But I think I forgot her trick. I forgot to be grateful just to be here, playing the game. I took this picture of her to remind me to make it work. Slow as it may be. Frustrating as it may be. Just keep going. And be happy doing it. Pretty simple really. Thanks Maise. I needed that kiddo.