Coolest four year old ever in the whole wide universe

A few weeks ago Lila and I were laying on the trampoline together having the following conversation: Me: Lila, in a few weeks it will be your birthday. Lila: Oh, Ok Me: Do you want to have a birthday party? No response Me: Do you want to have a cake? Lila: Yes! Me: Who do you want to come over? Lila: Steve (who is out next door neighbors dog). Me: Oh, OK. And who else? Lila: Barkley (who is the next door neighbors other dog). Me: OK. Do you want to have any family over? Like cousins and aunts and uncles? Lila: No. Me: So you just want me and Anabelle and Maisey? Lila: No, just Steve & Barkley. Me: Huh. Do you want some presents? Lila: No. Just some balloons. Yep, she's the best. So simple. So low maintenance. Which is why I find myself actually willing to do more for her- because she demands and expects nothing. And she's excited over every little thing. It's very mature of her really. It defies the very essence of toddlerhood. Which is why when I went against her birthday wishes just a bit she was cool with it. Turns out Steve & Barkley were on vacation so I felt compelled to call in a few human subs at the last minute. Not too many as I know that she doesn't like a crowd, and didn't want to overwhelm her on her birthday, I mistake I have made in the past on birthdays. And I went ahead and got her 2 presents, against her wishes. She was good with that too. I hung some balloons outside her bedroom door so she would see it when she woke up. She loved it. I think if I had done only that she would have been completely ecstatic. Because she is so accomadating she would reply "sure" to every cake I asked her about. But I really wanted it to be something that she actually loves. And she loves donuts. So I just made a big stack of donuts and she seemed happy. We arranged all this around a time that Braden could Skype us so he could watch her blow out her candles and open her presents. And then we went on a walk to the duck pond. And a bunch of dogs showed up. And she chased the around and climbed trees and wandered freely. And she was happy. It was a perfect day. I don't know that I've ever loved one of my kids birthdays like I loved that day. I think it was because she makes it so easy to celebrate her. When Braden called later that night after it was all over he found me crying as I thought at the desk. It was mostly a good cry. I felt completely overwhelmed with love for Lila. Often I look at her and remember how she began. How easily we could have had a different ending to that story. How delicate and precious is life. And how grateful I am that prayers are answered, and in this particular case, that they were answered in the way that I pleaded for. I know that doesn't always happen. But I will be grateful every day that it happened for me at that time. And I love that I have a constant reminder of Heavenly Father's tender mercies running around my house everyday. Along with this, I couldn't help but feel some sadness also, at Braden's absence on days like this. I have grown accustom to doing everything alone and to being alone, but sometimes the fact that he's missing things like this hits me like a truck and breaks my heart. This is stuff I want to experience together. I want to sit on the porch at the end of the night and talk about it with him, not try to explain it to him over Skype. It's the stuff you don't get back and you don't get to re-do. I am excited for all the kids that Braden is coming home relatively soon, but I'm most excited for Lila. She has struggled the most, I think due to her age. In the year that she was three, Braden was around for three sporadic months of it. I have a bright expectation for her year of being four. Here's to a little more stability, the start of preschool, and her Dad to tuck her in at night. I am anxious to see Lila grow academically and developmentally and socially, but with all my heart I hope the core of Lila never changes. I hope everything that I love about her now somehow stays intact through the years. It seems like most parents spend lots of time teaching their kids to be nice, teaching them how to love others, forgive others, share with others, etc; and that the physical stuff happens naturally. We haven't yet gotten her to spit when she brushes her teeth and she's being trained on how to use her tongue to make all the right noises. But she could teach me a few things about loving others. And I've never had to explain to her what it means to share; she just gives freely, always has. Right now she might seem a bit behind compared to peers, but I think in the long run, she is light years above most adults I know with the love in her heart. My goal with her is not to ruin her. Not to taint what what she came here with, but to learn from it. So grateful for the last four years with her and looking forward to many more.