Reason # 17 why it's good that we're not Chinese

I am approaching my 35th week of pregnancy. My midwife thinks I am in my 35th week already. But I know better. For 35 weeks ago Braden was somewhere en route from the Middle East. But let me get back to things that aren't inappropriate to share in a public(ish) forum. I am quite large. 4 people asked me on Sunday if I was due "any day now". Ha. So very funny. And I daily get comments from people in front of my girls saying they hope for our sakes that I am having a boy. What is this, China?! I used to handle it tactfully, knowing that people are well meaning and trying to be friendly. But the puffier I get and depending on if it's snowing outside (because, yes, my ability to be mature hinges on the amount of sunshine I have taken in), my reactions have become a bit more abrasive and nothing short of defensive. As I was taking Lila to school this morning another Dad asked if we are sad. I said, "How could anybody in the world be sad that they are going to get a healthy baby"? And maybe I said it with a hint of sass. Or annoyance. Or disgust. His eyes got huge and he put up his hands as if to surrender to the attack he was under. All Anabelle ever said she wanted was sisters until she heard enough obnoxious people suggest to her otherwise. And then suggest how terrible it will be when they are teenagers. May I just take a moment and say, for history's sake, that I love being the mother of these little girls. I love that they notice when I change my eye shadow color. I love that they compliment my earrings and my shoes. I love that they play with my hair and kiss and hug and nurture and sing in tiny falsetto voices. I love that they don't brake my stuff. I love that they understand the concept of home decor and respect it (mostly). They dance with it, and they use it to tuck in animals and babies, but they're not out for destruction. I love that if any type of music is heard Maisey will immediately say, "Oh! I should get a ballerina!" and run to her room for a dress to put on so she can bust a move, and then all of a sudden our living room turns into a dance party of tacky costumes and accessories, when Braden was trying trying to practice a hymn on the piano. I love the way their lives exist in an ongoing game of "family" (such a stretch from reality) and they walk around the house taking care of each other-to the point that I am being desensitized from the word "Mommy" because it is rarely actually meant for me. Now they yell "real Mom!" if it's me they want. I love to see them wrestle each other and do what they have come to call the "huggie roll" and then say "Goodnight shweetie" before bed. I love their sensitive natures and spiritual inclinations. And furthermore, if I was the mother of all boys, I feel certain that I would love being the mother of all boys (although my home might look different from the waist down). Maybe it was our initial scare with Lila, but I feel like if you are blessed to be able to become pregnant, and then you are blessed to find out that your child appears to be healthy, crying over the gender of that child seems wrong in every possible way. I get that people have certain reasons for wishing to get one or the other. But feeling sad over being able to parent a child because it wasn't the gender you were hoping for is a bit beyond my ability to comprehend. We were in Ikea the other day and upon looking at our family, a man asked Braden if we knew what we were having. Braden told him, and he said, "Ah, no luck huh?" And Braden said, "No. We have all the luck". The man was taken back- he clearly wasn't expecting that answer. And then I administered a swift jab to the gut. Or I didn't. But really dude, how do you think that makes our girls feel?

When the ultrasonographer told us this baby is a girl we both laughed out loud. And then Braden said that he needed a burger. When I asked him why, wondering if it was to console himself, he said, "No. To celebrate my daughter". And he chose to go to Five Guys. And I said, "You want to go to Five Guys to celebrate your four girls"? and he said, "Yeah. They're the only guys I got in my life". And we sat and talked about raising girls. And then we realized that these girls are going to marry guys. And we became scared at the prospect of them marrying a dirtbag. And we discussed the limits of what Braden was allowed to do to anyone who hurt one of our daughters.

I have never had a moment of disappointment over the fact that we have a house full of girls. I feel enormously blessed in every way. Sometimes all the crying and emotion can be a bit much- but it is at these times that I use my intact fancy decorative pillows to console myself. Or I turn up music REALLY loud. Or I mow the lawn. True story. Our lawn looked really good when Braden was gone. Heaven help the people who say to me, while in the company of my children, something negative about girls.