anabelle

This girl. 

Her freckles and her laugh and her goodness.

She's ten now. I'm horrified by that. Because I guess her childhood is mostly over. Somewhere in my mind I have these ideas of the kind of mom I will be and the kind of rituals I will create and the memories I will make with my kids. I've realized lately that those chapters have already been written in Anabelle's story. Was it what I wanted? Has it been enough? Has it been happy for her? She seems to be in a transition period of sorts. I'm coming to terms with that. The only thing that makes it bearable for me is to realize that as sad as I am to close that chapter of her life, I am so excited for her future. She has been a truly hilarious child. Witty and quick and smart like I never knew a child could be. As she's grown she's added to that list incredible kindness, a beautiful desire to obey the gospel, a genuine testimony, and compassion that moves me. I stand in awe of her capacity. She has a giant spirit capable of lifting everyone she meets. I can't wait for the day that she stops being afraid to fail and recognizes her potential. It has no limits that I can see. When I think back to the childhood Anabelle that I adored and spent my every minute with, my heart literally aches to give her up. I just keep looking ahead to this wonderful friend that is developing day by day.  Being her mother is truly a gift. I have leaned on her help more times than I can count. She is a helpful and loving big sister. She is a blessing from God. I hope she feels my gratitude for her through every phase of her life.