The day I traded my self respect for fifty dollars

Also known as the 4th of July. I don't do that every 4th, it's just how I chose to celebrate America this year. 

We decided to go to the city of Norman's festivities. As I recall it was a typical warm Oklahoma day- no less that a thousand degrees, with 450% humidity and exactly zero percent enjoyability by reasonable human beings. Norman is supposed to be a nice city so we thought it might draw a classier crowd. No. 

BUT, we had our fun. Bounce houses, nickel hunt, slushies, and a hot dog eating contest, WHICH I WON. Now to be fair, there was no one competing against me. No other human female contestant that is. As the only contestant, I had only to finish as my feat. Five hot dogs and five buns. You know when you see a package of hot dogs in the store that are 59 cents and they are pastel pink and you wonder to yourself what could they possibly be made of and who in the world would ingest them? Well I can answer only one of those questions. The other could be laid to rest with a quick google search but I cannot allow myself to do that.Half way through the first one I was already heaving, literally. They were the cheapest, boiled, flimsy, rubbery, tubes of chemicals you could imagine. Wrapped in a cheap white crusty bun. I asked Braden to take the kids and walk away. It was the mental fight of a lifetime. And I used it on eating hot dogs. I had to summon all my mental capacity and then get my physical reflexes to agree. Looking back, I'm not sure why I did this. Was it because I paid five dollars to enter? Was it because I don't like to quit? Whatever my motivation to endure, it was the wrong choice. Some times quitting is admirable. Sometimes losing five dollars is an investment in your dignity. Poor Elise, fierce lover of hot dogs, sat by me begging me to share. I kept telling her I couldn't share and she just couldn't understand why. Because I want to keep the gurgling, bloated, indigestion all to myself, that's why. After 25 minutes of horrific gagging, I finished. They handed me fifty bucks, and I handed over my self respect, and we parted ways, both poorer for the experience. I walked immediately to a bush where I ducked down trying to gag myself unsuccessfully.

But I felt worse for Braden. He entered, choked down the dogs, and lost. Shudder. Happy Birthday America! Next year we'll stick with sparklers for our thrills.  

The kids got to dig for money, or "shineys" as Elise called them. Maisey was being really sweet. and making sure all the kids around her got enough before she would put any in her bucket.

Anabelle got to do it one handed compliments of her freshly broken humorous. 

Braden's face upon realizing how truly grotesque those hot dogs were.

Lila waited in a long line to do this cliff jump. When it was her turn she got scared and backed down. They let her try again and when she got to the edge of the cliff, she instinctively plugged her nose. I laughed heartily. And it caused a hot dog shift in my gut. 

Oh HI there cute men of my heart.

Dancing with Elise

Tired sweet baby

The humidity does lend itself well to ringlets

Maisey wasn't tall enough to go on the giant cliff jump. Which broke her heart. The workers took pity on her at the end and let her do it right before we left. She was brave and jumped right off.

Women's conference 2015- the Fall edition

Yesterday we went to a street festival as a family. We got home with just enough time for me to feed Emmett and put him to sleep, throw on a skirt, and jump in the car with Anabelle. And then realize that said car has no gas so we jumped in a different car. Once we were down the street we had this conversation:

 I say to Anabelle, "That festival was pretty cool, wasn't it?"

 She said that it was. Then she said, "Have you said a prayer yet?

I was a bit confused. "Have I said a prayer since we got home from the festival?........No.....have you?"

"Yes. I went to my room and said a prayer. You know, just because we've been out having fun and now we're going to something reverent, so I just wanted to get ready for it so I could feel the Spirit". 

She stopped me in my tracks with that one. And if that wasn't enough, I had to copy off her notes once we got there. I started writing a quote and then couldn't remember the rest of what was said. I glanced over at Anabelle's notes and got what I needed {"Family is the very heart of salvation"}.

Last night as the broadcast was beginning I leaned over to Anabelle and told her that there was no where else I would rather be. Which was a little bit of a lie. I would have loved to be in the conference center with her, going to Cafe Rio after. But hey, Oklahoma's cool too. Probably. I haven't found out how yet, but I'm sure it is because lots of people live here and they all wear Oklahoma t-shirts. 

I am looking forward to dozens more of these nights over the years. I am feeling so grateful- for prophets, for daughters with tender hearts, for the effect the gospel has on my life, for chances to focus on becoming a better wife/mom/disciple/friend, and for a husband who supports me in those roles.

  I went with weighty matters on my heart. And I came away with clarity. And some loving reminders that I needed to hear again. 

"What will it matter what we have suffered here if it qualifies us for exaltation?"

P.S.

About two weeks ago I was saying night prayers with Anabelle and Lila by their beds. I prayed for the daughter of one of my college friends who is chronically ill and has been in the hospital for her entire two years of life. After I finished my prayer they asked about her and I told them about her situation and showed then her picture on facebook. As I went to leave the room I turned around to see Anabelle sobbing in grief. I went over to her and sat on her bed and she just cried. She asked if thee was anything she could do. I told her she could fast for Eliza since the next day was fast Sunday. And she did, with an attitude of faith.

The day I got out of sweat pants

 Sometimes you're just going along in life and then BAM, somebody good looking asks you to go to a ball with them. The right thing to do is to say yes. Assuming you are married and the person asking is the person you are married to.

We wondered if the Air Force ball would be any fun. It was some fun. Not lots of fun. Not gobs of fun. I can't imagine we'll ever feel inclined to do it again. Unless the tickets were free and the babysitting was free and they promised to feed us more food that was tastier and if they promised to get better speakers and play more Cyndi Lauper at the dance. In that case- we would be all for it.

It was fun to get fancy. I loved that dress. It literally makes the world a better place. Well, it makes the world a more glittery place, which is pretty much the same thing, according to most of the people I live with. Anabelle asked if she could wear this dress to prom. If that materializes, that would be the best thing out of the whole experience. I'm in the process of getting a contract written up to make sure she does.

The ball was on her birthday so she said we could go as long as she could wear my dress one day. We spent the morning getting our nails done and finding shoes to go with my dress. I was frenzied trying to do my hair and makeup and nurse Emmett and get everything in order for the babysitter to be there, while trying to make the day about Anabelle still. By the time we got in the car to go I was a bit frazzled as we couldn't be there late (another reason to disavow such events). I realized that I was so crazy trying to make everything happen that I didn't shave my armpits (and you could tell), and I didn't brush my teeth. That's right, folks, I believe that may be one of the only days of my (adult) life where I didn't brush my teeth. I took it as a sign that such events are out of my league for the present time. It's not my season for fancy. If you are too busy to brush your teeth, you are too busy.

Highlights of the night included seeing Braden in his mess dress, seeing a room full of uniformed service members and their spouses (who I believe have a unique love for our country) come to attention for the national anthem, and seeing Braden in his mess dress. Oh, did I already say that? He's so cute, sometimes I forget.

And I always love to hang out with my favorite military spouse, my dear friend the Vonster. In this picture she is trying to convince me that she has a "good side" of her face and she only likes that side to be photographed. 

It was bound to happen

Well I love him, obviously

Eleven years since the day that our Moms had tacky miniature gardens pinned to their dresses

That's something to celebrate. 

I mentioned to my Mom that it was our eleventh anniversary this weekend and the first one Braden had been around for in several years. She volunteered to do 300 puzzles with Elise so that we could go away for the night. She didn't know that's what she volunteered for, but I did. I decided not to tell her that until after she had arrived. And actually, to make matters worse, she didn't do 300 puzzles, she did the same 5 puzzles 300 times. 

Meanwhile, in romanticland, Braden, Emmett, and I checked into our hotel room where we were met with some fun surprises like urine in the sink and gangsters yelling at each other at 2 in the morning. We shook off the horrors of that night by yard-saling and consuming delicious food at the Stray Dog Cafe. Then we went to the theatre so that Braden could see a movie and I could walk the halls with a crying Emmett.

We went on a jog together and ate Big Truck Tacos.

We also got to sneak away to the temple and for that I am truly grateful.

Takeaways from the weekend:

1) My parents are sweetie pie sugar faces for driving all the way up here to babysit our maggots.

2) Never book travel reservations through Groupon. There is a reason they need to be on Groupon, and it's probably because people are dying at their establishment. 

3) Emmett is a low maintenance, prone to happiness sort of a character. Except in movie theatres. The kid is three for three in this department and I've sworn off taking him ever again. Until he can buy his own ticket. And mine. Because he owes me. 

4) In doesn't matter what we're doing, as long as we're together. A little corny, a little cliche, totally true. He's my very best and most favorite friend of all time for the rest of forever in the whole universe. We're having shirts made. Oh wait, we had people made- I guess that sends the same message. 

Arches National Park

After the reunion we spent a few more days in Utah. We stayed with the McKay's, we visited Jeff & Jen, we stopped off to see a friend at our old base. And then we got back on the road and headed back to OklaHOMEa. But we figured it would be a shame to just drive right by Arches National Park. It was tempting. We are no fools. Five little kids, including a nursing baby, sans carrier for said baby. Lots of walking, lots of heat, less than ideal hiking shoes for anyone. But still. You can't just drive by something like that. We braced ourselves, booked a room nearby, and called it our vacation for the year. The hotel had a pool so it totally counted. And you know what? It worked out. It was absolutely beautiful. The kind of scenery that just overwhelms you. It's too bad I wasn't homeschooling then. I could have been so over the top annoying in an educational I-am-your-teacher-and-your-mom sort of way. There were plenty of whiny moments where small people had shoe problems/thirst problems/tired problems. Braden and I had to trade off seeing things because of a sleeping baby. Our arms were achy from toting Emmett all day. But overall, they did great. And I hope they remember these kinds of things. Because the moments of insanity/annoyance are worth it. Note to grown up kids for the future: If you don't remember that we took you here, and a hundred other things like this, we did. And you likely whined at some point. And you probably wasted the 14 dollar sandwich we were forced to buy you, and then had the audacity to tell me that you were hungry 7 minutes later. But I would do it all again. Because being with my favorite people while being surrounded by incredible nature is always the right choice. Plus, I'm not sure what all the international tourists would have taken pictures of if we weren't there.

PS Kids: you owe me $14.00. At least.

We met up with one of Braden's mission companions in Salt Lake who was visiting from Brazil. The kids were ecstatic to play on the dinosaurs again.

We also briefly stopped at our old neighborhood. This hug is exactly what I had envisioned. I sure miss Dayton being Maisey's best pal. And I miss my pal, too. But wow, being on base again made me feel so stifled. All those houses so close together with people everywhere....I don't know that I can ever do that again now that I know how nice a little space is.

old friends

Lila Canyon!

Just driving casually down the road. Totally relaxed. No big deal. Seriously though, being a hottie with big muscles is an oft overlooked blessing of being a good Dad. It's the natural effects of carrying a baby around the desert all day. 

I'm a little bit glad we weren't homeschooling then, because then I'd have to try to explain this and........well.......it looks super neat?!

fish out of water

Anabelle and I went on our own little hike together

I love all the layers of the rocks. And I love that converse-wearing, exploring girl I was with.