Wow, a week went by?

I've been easing myself back into exercising. I decided one morning this week that I might try to break into a little jog during my morning walk. This was the same morning that I was trying out a great jogging stroller given us recently by a friend. I start out walking and Anabelle says, "Mom, go faster". So I start running and she begins clapping and yelling, "Oh! Yea Mommy!" So I start thinking that perhaps this is a good situation. She's so encouraging and excited about my effort. This could be my ticket back into shape. So after a bit I start feeling sore in all the right places so I return to walking. Anabelle immediately says, "Mom, go faster. Run Mom. Run again. Go fast again." Hmph. So I run again. You know, trying to impress the coach. But after a few minutes when I try to walk again I get the same nagging,"Run Mom, go faster. Again, again Mom. Go fast again". I spare her the details about the labor but I do briefly explain the situation and tell her that I'm tired and need to take a break. She says to me with furrowed mocking brows and pursed lips, "Oooohhhh. Mommy's tired. Mommy needs to rest." It was a voice that told me my kid thinks I'm sissy sauce. Well I'm not taking that voice from a one year old. So I finish my little run and wobble inside to get the olympian toddler a drink because she says she's hot and thirsty. I think tomorrow I'll take Lila in the stroller and Anabelle can sit the bench.

I had a nagging thought that the reflux medicine from the first hospital had caused the seizures in Lila. I really felt strongly that that might be the case after researching the drug and finding that it has not been recommended for children and its severe side effects are neurological problems and seizures. My detective skills may not be the sharpest, but the seizures started shortly after that medicine began, and stopped immediately when we took her off that drug. So on Tuesday I didn't give her the morning dose. Still no seizure all day. So I also skipped the nightly dose. No seizure. The last medicine she had was Monday night and she hasn't had anything happen all week. Now I'm no doctor but the truth is they have no idea what is going on with her either, so she has just been medicated experimentally. I will take her to see the neurologist on Monday and maybe he will be upset that I did that. But I'm sort of over letting the doctors be the boss. In retrospect I feel like there was some sloppy medical care and perhaps some of this mess could have been prevented. Maybe I'm wrong and I'm open to that but in the mean time I feel okay about having stopped the medicine. Who knows where we'll go from here. All I know is that there's just nothin better than cuddling your own baby and smelling their newness and that's what I'm doing right now so things aren't so bad in my world.