The 4th!

We went to the Riverdale parade with Jeff's family, like we have every year we've been here. Then we went to his house for a little BBQ. 

strategizing

BBQ at Aunt Jeannie's the next day

stadium of Chan

I look at these cute pictures and it looks like a great time. But I think back on this day and can only remember feeling so frustrated. I ended the day by laying alone on the trampoline, watching fireworks and crying because I don't know what to do with Lila. She has had, and continues to have, a really hard time with deployments. Other people say that she is delightful and well behaved for them. But the moment I show up she is defiant. She starts to scream and tantrum and refuses to obey. I have exhausted all my ideas. It doesn't matter how firm or strict or consistent, or how patient, kind and loving I am. She seems to have serious beef with me. I guess I've come to accept that there won't be any magical solution to this situation. We're just doing our best to survive the day in the happiest way we can. I have always loved this holiday but it has come to mean something different to me as we have spent three of the last four alone due to military separations. It certainly makes it less enjoyable, but it has given me the chance to reflect deeply on these days on the price of freedom. When I am feeling so frazzled and frustrated it has been humbling to think of all the families who have paid the ultimate price for our liberties, and I feel a deeper gratitude.